A Birthday Post

There's something about my birthday this year that I intend to post because this is by far, different from the previous ones. 

August 9, 2019 marked my 37th year. It appears to be a random number, not quite a milestone in terms of age. But for me, this is a different take.

His Will

I am at the same age now when my mother died. I don't know if you can feel this with me, this paranoia I have thinking if that same fate will happen to me, too. Subtly, I have become fussy to  probable cues, little incidences, and nonsensical coincidences where Earthly Life seems wanting to say goodbye: 

This quote I just read, 
this song I just listened to, 
this consistent paranoia to the signals of my body, 
this consistent urge to anxiously pray each time I travel, etc. 
and the list goes on and on.

It appears hilarious at times but it's something I simply can't explain.

When reality bites, my mother died at a very young age, leaving three daughters 13, 11, and 5 years old. But truth be told, there's nothing out of God's will and sovereignty. Our Mama lived her life in full, and it's her time to go. Reflecting on my current state, this I have in mind: 

What is my reality in this? 
What is the truth I need to hold and live?

In a nutshell, this is what I have: 

It is for God's WILL and purposes I am alive and will be kept alive. 

It's for Him I live and will continue to live.

This Waiting

My 37th year is what I consider one of my momentous birthday. This is the last time I will be celebrating my birthday in a civilly single status. Barely 3 months from now, I will be married. I have come to this point not because this is the ultimate end to waiting. One season is just about to end, welcoming another one. Another waiting is about to start. See, waiting never ends. I put in the Lord's hand whatever this new season will make me. I think I have lived and enjoyed my singleness in fullest swing don't you think? ;)

The related love story deserves a space here, which I need to work on, still. :)

His Word

"As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness; 

I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness." 

Psalm 17:15 (NKJV). 

In each waking moment, I desire to live in the likeness of my loving Lord. It's a difficult thing to do but in God's grace I trust, I depend, and I rely. May this year and beyond bring me to greater heights and warmer depth and intimacy with the Almighty.

With this in mind, plus the fact that I will be married soon, I wonder how would my quiet time and devotion be like... with soon living in a shared life, shared space, shared everything. Like how would this spiritual journey and spiritual disciplines be? With this, I trust the God of this journey. Maybe I will just cross the bridge when I get there. :)

So, it's a wrap. Happy 37th birthday to me, by the way. :)

PS I posted a concise one on my Facebook page. I just feel so comforted that I have this nook where I can have it all said. :)