Where Art Thou?

The clock is ticking for this month... should I also say, for this year. As  much as I want to write, words seem too shy to come out. My mind is full, but the form doesn't want to be drawn. My drafts have been waiting [like forever] for the blogger's strike of pen once again.


Words, where art thou?


I will be trekking the mountains soon and will be leaving again the pen behind. Maybe inspiration will come from there... out from the mountains, on top of the terraces, in between the leaves. 


Words, where art thou?


Please do come to me quickly. You are missed.

I Am Joy

I am called Joy by a very few.


If I was christened with that nickname, I do not know. I just remember seeing the 3-letter word not so much around the house and on not so many letters & notes I have received with "To: Joy", sometimes "Dear Joy". I did not grow up hearing that name most of my years either. But, if out of nowhere I hear that name, I will respond and look around because I know


I am Joy.


To date, it is the unpopular name of mine. It is barely known. It is hardly missed. But I still own it and I love it.


I am Joy.


To be called Joy again or not anymore is not my paramount melancholic, nostalgic sentiment right now. I own it by heart and simply want to live up the name. And with that, joy did not fail me. 

This joy has many faces.

It springs up from inside-out awareness, 

communicates in silence or in audible utterances, 

projects in statics or sometimes in dances, 

speaks in smiles or in expressive body languages,

at times when I am at my highest or even at my lowest.

Calling someone Joy can just be a blurt. But living with, and living the joy is not just difficult --- it is IMPOSSIBLE in this fallen, broken world where hurts, sufferings, and pains consistently strike and are undeniably real. We have our own share of despair, so we know how it feels and how this world operates, and how joy can sometimes be a scarce staple commodity.


When 'weights' seem heavier than the usual, a simple joy can be an understatement. The inspiration of the Lord makes it real, makes it alive, makes it powerful, makes it complete.

The joy of the Lord is what it really is.

Joy I maybe called, but man, I can't manufacture joy --- it will surely alter or fail. It is the Lord who gives and makes it grow in me. It is not from me, it is from Him. It is not a result of my doing, but the fruit of His being. It is not of the flesh, but of the Spirit. The common joy can sometimes be just a facade, but the joy of the Lord comes genuine, in and out.

I don't want to settle to be Joy by calling, but to the utmost, be Joy by living. 

The world has done so much in its power to steal joy away from every heart. A consistent tug-of-war has it been. It is hard to be caught by the world's schemes & treachery, but the Lord has promised a sweet and joyous victory, that we can wear the sweetest smile at the end of every journey.  :)  :)  :)

If I was christened with that nickname, I STILL do not know. But, if out of nowhere I hear that name, I will STILL respond and look around because I know

I am Joy,


because the joy of the Lord has helped me live it, and it will always be so.

Waiting Lists

I never thought these past two weeks would get me crazy busy. But thank you, dear Lord for still sparing my sanity. :) I am just anticipating to get my 3 posts done and ready. Oh, if I could just drop all these off, rest, and then write again.


Just for a brush start, and at least to encourage myself about my 3 drafts: 

• Posts' titles = done.
• Unpenned thoughts = done.
• First sentence = done.
• The rest? = undone. :D

I 'hope' next week would be a good writing week. :)

The Brighter Side of Weariness

I cried myself to sleep a few nights ago. 


I realized I did so when I woke up the following day. It was nothing, I was just tired.


Really, I was just soo tired. So tired that my tear glands seemed to get activated too much, swelled up and flooded my eyes with tears.


Sometimes, it is hard, or not even close to possibly believe that one can shed tears even without any intense feelings or emotions... either a jubilant high or a depressing low. It is hard to put in to words, at least to explain how does that happen, but I know it. I just know it. My overtaxed strength formed the tears.


When we are tired, used up, exhausted, or whatever you may call it, we tend to be irritated, project what we feel towards others, shout, whine, play the blame-game, and the like. You know it. I know it. All of us have been there. 


But coming to terms with life this far (not so far yet) helped me see things, see weariness in a different side, the brighter side.


Can anything good come out from weariness? To this, I say, yes. :)


I maybe tired but comfort comes with the thought that it is for a cause and it brought results. It may mean expectations have been met, made somebody smile, feel valued & loved, plans worked, etc. --- for a cause of different sorts, not a by-product of idleness.


I remember someone told me to choose wisely where to direct or gear up energy --- and not to thoughtlessly give everybody a piece of you, or a slice of your strength to numerous, little 'unnecessaries'. Not to say that other people/things aren't important, but it goes to point that in reality, some people/things just want to take, sap, drain up your strength and leave you weary. 


But the greatest comfort comes from the Lord who knows each stage of our weariness. He has the perfect cure and knows how to recharge us. In His power words:

• "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26 (NIV)

• "The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights." Habakkuk 3:19 (NIV)

• "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40: 30-31 (NIV) 

And from Chuck Swindoll's 'Antidote for Weariness':

But let's understand that God does not dispense strength and encouragement like a druggist fills your prescription. The Lord doesn't promise to give us something to take so we can handle our weary moments. He promises us Himself. That is all. And that is enough.

In times when strength seemed to wave good-bye, let us be comforted with the truth that renewed strength has just come shining brighter through the window. The Lord Himself is our strength.


So, I say, the weary can wear a thousand smiles or more even after the tears. 

Random Thoughts

I tried to recall these spur of the moment thoughts that's been running through my head this week. It was challenging to recall each one, but it was a good try. :)

1. ... will resume jogging next week. I really love to jog, but the thing is, I am already slim. Would it do me good or bad? Whatever. I will still jog. Rubbers on! :)
2. ... got a cool nugget thought from a colleague: Laugh now, cry later.
3. ... excited for a new post running through my head since last night: "A Glory That Is Not".
4. ... on a final countdown: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
5. ... nostalgic about beauty for ashes.
6. ... will be on a sound of silence mode.
7. ... wants to cut her hair 'short'.
8. ... was so thrilled in finding people I know in FB... not my friends --- but my Mom's.
9. ... thinking of a surprise. For whom? when? where? what? *secret*
10. ... says, 'yes'.