This Blogger's Blahs

Stolen shot courtesy of my sister.

For four consecutive months, I have consistently written 5 posts. That was unintentional. I just write my thoughts away, not consciously thoughtful of how frequent I am with it. I am still new in this web logging world. I am still building up disciplines and discovering ways in coming up with a blog post. It is a work in itself, but more so, it is a work of heart & a work of art. :)


So, I caught myself by surprise. My monthly posts has always been 5. Well, except for November last year - where I can't remember where I got so much inspiration that I was able to write 8 posts.
This month was different though. I have been very busy with work, work, work. Creative writing inspiration doesn't seem to flow. My brain is filled with numbers at work. But 'words', I want you, too. I am missing you.


Now, I am somewhat hard pressed to come up with my 5th post this month. :)


Just to lighten up this self-induced pressure, the past 30 days basically wandered around these thoughts:


~ I tried. I cried.
~ Everything seems to be a sinking sand.
~ Unstable, unsure.
~ Trust.
~ Walk in faith.
~ I wish I have the luxury of time.


Will I stick to 5 posts per month? I don't know but I think it will be a good discipline, don't you think? :)

Prayer of a Minor Prophet

I have always been encouraged by this prayer. I have read this the first time from a book I have bought so many years ago. The author offered its readers to borrow the prayer and so, at some points in my life, I did. :)


This is the prayer of a man (A.W. Tozer), called to be a witness to the nations. This is what he said to his Lord on the day of his ordination. After the elders and ministers had prayed and laid their hands on him he withdrew to meet his Savior in the secret place and in the silence, farther in than his well-meaning brethren could take him. And he said: 

“O Lord, I have heard Your voice and was afraid. You have called me to an awesome task in a grave and perilous hour. You are about to shake all nations and the earth and also heaven, that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. O Lord, my Lord, You have stooped to honor me to be Your servant. No man takes this honor upon himself save he that is called of God as was Aaron. You have ordained me Your messenger to them that are stubborn of heart and hard of hearing. They have rejected You, the Master, and it is not to be expected that they will receive me, the servant. 

My God, I shall not waste time deploring my weakness nor my unfittedness for the work. The responsibility is not mine, but Yours. You have said, “I knew you – I ordained you – I sanctified you,” and You have also said, “You shall go to all that I shall send you, and whatsoever I command you, you shall speak.” Who am I to argue with You or to call into question Your sovereign choice? The decision is not mine but Yours. So be it, Lord. Your will, not mine, be done. 

Well do I know, You God of the prophets and the apostles, that as long as I honor You, You will honor me. Help me therefore to take this solemn vow to honor You in all my future life and labors, whether by gain or by loss, by life or by death, and then to keep that vow unbroken while I live. 

It is time, O God, for You to work, for the enemy has entered into Your pastures and the sheep are torn and scattered. And false shepherds abound who deny the danger and laugh at the perils which surround Your flock. The sheep are deceived by these hirelings and follow them with touching loyalty while the wolf closes in to kill and destroy. I beseech You, give me sharp eyes to detect the presence of the enemy; give me understanding to see and courage to report what I see faithfully. Make my voice so like Your own that even the sick sheep will recognize it and follow You. 

Lord Jesus, I come to You for spiritual preparation. Lay Your hand upon me. Anoint me with the oil of the New Testament prophet. Forbid that I should become a religious scribe and thus lose my prophetic calling. Save me from the curse that lies dark across the modern clergy, the curse of compromise, of imitation, of professionalism. Save me from the error of judging a church by its size, its popularity or the amount of its yearly offering. Help me to remember that I am a prophet – not a promoter, not a religious manager, but a prophet. Let me never become a slave to crowds. Heal my soul of carnal ambitions and deliver me from the itch for publicity. Save me from bondage to things. Let me not waste my days puttering around the house. Lay Your terror upon me, O God, and drive me to the place of prayer where I may wrestle with principalities and powers and the rulers of the darkness of this world. Deliver me from overeating and late sleeping. Teach me self-discipline that I may be a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 

I accept hard work and small rewards in this life. I ask for no easy place. I shall try to be blind to the little ways that could make life easier. If others seek the smoother path I shall try to take the hard way without judging them too harshly. I shall expect opposition and try to take it quietly when it comes. Or if, as sometimes it falls out to Your servants, I should have grateful gifts pressed upon me by Your kindly people, stand by me then and save me from the blight that often follows. Teach me to use whatever I receive in such manner that will not injure my soul nor diminish my spiritual power. And if in Your permissive providence honor should come to me from Your church, let me not forget in that hour that I am unworthy of the least of Your mercies, and that if men knew me as intimately as I know myself they would withhold their honors or bestow them upon others more worthy to receive them. 

And now, O Lord of heaven and earth, I consecrate my remaining days to You; let them be many or few, as You will. Let me stand before the great or minister to the poor and lowly; that choice is not mine, and I would not influence it if I could. I am Your servant to do Your will, and that will is sweeter to me than position or riches or fame and I choose it above all things on earth or in heaven. 

Though I am chosen of You and honored by a high and holy calling, let me never forget that I am but a man of dust and ashes, a man with all the natural faults and passions that plague the race of men. I pray You, therefore, my Lord and Redeemer, save me from myself and from all the injuries I may do myself while trying to be a blessing to others. Fill me with Your power by the Holy Spirit, and I will go in Your strength and tell of Your righteousness, even Yours only. I will spread abroad the message of redeeming love while my normal powers endure. 

Then, dear Lord, when I am old and weary and too tired to go on, have a place ready for me above, and make me to be numbered with Your saints in glory everlasting. Amen.”

Written in 1950, this chapter has been reprinted many times and widely circulated. 

Aiden Wilson Tozer

Grace Found Me At 17

"I think I haven't asked you yet - what's your favorite number?" Mom asked one time over dinner. We were discussing 'numbers' then, its meaning and significance as it appear in the Scriptures.

"I like number 46 in a sense that it's a sentence that has 46 letters,

but in terms of depth and meaning, my favorite number is 17."

To start, I was born on the 9th day of August, the 8th month. Adding up 9 and 8 will give you 17.

It was then I was given the gift of life. The grace to live, not just to exist. That was my first life.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, you saw my unformed body." (Psalm 139:13,15)

Then God's grace led me to Him. He made manifest His love for me through His Word and through testimonies of other people - how He has given His life so we might live. I was drawn not in a religion, but in a personal relationship with Him. It was on April 17, 1991. That was my second life.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."  (John 3:16)

Now, it's eternal life. 

Isn't the Lord amazing? Everything begins and ends with Him. :) 

Then through a site I also looked:

Seventeen stands out very prominently as a significant number. It is not a multiple of any other number, and therefore it has no factors. Hence it is called one of the prime (or indivisible) numbers. What is more, it is the seventh in the list of the prime numbers.

The prime number series runs 1, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, etc. Thirteen, it will be noted, is also a prime number, and is therefore important; but it is the sixth of the series: hence it partakes of the significance of the number 6, and is indeed an intensified expression of it.

In like manner Seventeen being the seventh of the series, it partakes of and intensifies the significance of the number seven. Indeed, it is the combination or sum of two perfect numbers - seven and ten - seven being the number of spiritual perfection, and ten of ordinal perfection.

Contrasted together the significance of these two numbers is clear; and when united in the number Seventeen we have a union of their respective meanings, viz., spiritual perfection, plus ordinal perfection, or the perfection of spiritual order.

The number 17 signifies "vanquishing the enemy" and complete victory in Christ." 

During the days of Noah, God vanquished rebellious mankind by the flood which He began on the 17th day of 2nd month. The ark came to rest on the 17th day of the 7th month.

Jesus was victorious over death when God raised Him from the dead on the 17th day of the first month.

The 17th time love is mentioned in 1 Corinthians 13, it says, "[The] greatest of [all] is LOVE" (verse 13). Hence, the love of God (John 3:16) is victorious in all things. 

The number seventeen (not the word merely) has a significance of its own, and therefore an importance which must be taken into account wherever it appears in the Word of God by itself or as a factor.

Read more? 

On top of it all, I am truly grateful that Grace, personified by the Lord Jesus found me at 17. From my first life to second life, the gift of eternal life.

By the way, happy birthday to me. :)

Mic Test 1, 2, 3

I am not going to sing. This will not be about songs or singing either. Just to tell you in case the title of this post has made you expect that. :)


Before I count the coming weeks as still-busy-after-office, I'd rather take this pause for a short while before I stand, tap the microphone and say,


Mic test 1, 2, 3.

Three invitations came - one by one, week after week.

A phone call, an up-face conversation, and an email all received last month will be bringing me to places where I do not usually spend my days and will be giving me that opportunity the Lord has so long prepared.

It is something that has been placed in my heart by the Lord. It then turned into a prayer that someday, I will be again ministering to His people. I do not know how or when. One thing I know, I want to do something for Him and for His people.

With an introverted type of personality, I generally do not like the stage, the limelight, the microphones. I'd rather be part of an audience. I am a 'Moses counterpart':

"Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."

"The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." (Genesis 4:10-12)

What shall I say to this then? Guess what?

I said yes... to all three.

So, my coming weeks will be devoted much on spending time in His presence, studying His Word, and all the other things related to it. I basically have these tools with me - my choicest tools and companions should I say:

My Bible is already open. I am about to begin. I entrust everything to the Lord as I prepare, before I stand before men and say,

Mic test 1, 2, 3.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

(1) The Tale Of Two Whining Souls 
Luke 18:18-30 & 19:1-10

(2) Your Name At The CROSSroad 
Genesis 32:22-32 & Acts 9:1-9

(3) Stewardship

Selected verses

So help me God.

Simple Find, Great Joy

I was in a bookstore just this afternoon, looking through shelves after shelves, hoping for a potential purchase of my money's worth. And I did find one! 


As I made my way to the counter, I suddenly stopped along the journals section. I'm not planning to buy any because I already had bought one. I just want to feel touching the journals' covers, pages and intricately looking at its designs. I don't know but it kind of fascinates me.


But one particular journal caught my eyes! My heart leaped! I bought it. :) Well, just as the title of this post says, it was a simple find but it really gave me great joy.


If you had read my post On Hymns & Keys, you have a grasp why I am so overjoyed about this journal. If you haven't read it yet, I hope you'll read it, too. Just click the link. :)

Great joy in a simple find: A light green journal bearing few lines of a favorite hymn (front cover) & the Bible verse that inspired it (back cover).

So my dear journal, I can't wait to pen my thoughts within your pages. In you I shall transcribe testimonies of the Lord's great faithfulness.