In Doing, I Lost the Being

My blog ceased to be the kind of nook I first dreamed it to be over the longest time. I am hoping that I would be able to catch up again. After all those wasted long months of not blogging, I am aware of my two primary reasons:

+ My camera bought primarily for blogging malfunctioned

+ My netbook primarily bought for the same reason crashed

And repair and/or buying another one is not just my priority as of the moment.

Come on now.

But, I am grateful to be banging the keys again... sitting on someone else's desk, using someone else's computer. ;)

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If I'd be real honest with myself, I can say that I lost myself over the things I do for the past months. I have become more of a doing than a being. I lost myself doing and looking after the affairs and matters of others, that I ended up losing myself and the Dream entrusted to me so I can be Me. 

I am sad. I am grieving.

I am at most times in the brink of giving up the Dream and carrying on at the same time. I am but dust. I feel exhausted and I wish for Christ's second coming to happen any day soonest (Yes, to that extent).

Much to my regret, I was not able to pull off something that's important to me. Totoo pala na minsan nakakalimutan mo na ang sarili mo sa pag-iintindi sa iba. Akala ko exaggeration lang 'yun. Not until it happened to me. I'm not blaming anyone or anything. This is all on me.

Comfort just comes with the truth that God is my greatest Comforter in my most raw, unpretentious form. I am still accepted in the beloved. I am not forgotten. I just need to grieve over this even in the simplest way I know. 

That was a breather. Thank you for bearing with me if you happened to randomly bumped into this post. 

Note to self: I will be back. Promise.

Random Thoughts

1. "Lord, teach us how to pray..."
2. The Hands that hold the world are holding my heart.
3. The Maker of this whole wide world is a Father to me.
4. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.
5. A pair of gold earrings this time, would be my earrings for my lifetime.
6. Raw rants vs processed thoughts. Simply listen to the former, interact with the latter (if necessary). 
7. Simple life.
8. Operate and understand things in context.
9. Just when you thought you are patient enough, watch out. That'll be tested.
10. How long, oh, Lord?

A Silent Solace

I am hoping to break my silence... soon.

Travel Snippet : Baguio, Bicol, Batangas

I was caught up in a whirlwind of business itineraries. The past four weeks came in flashing that broke me out of a predictable weekly routine. Each has its own story to which I say offered me experiences worth cherishing and met people worth remembering. I had laughed, felt sick, left me nervous and a lot more kind of things. I am just bracing myself because if I get carried away with my typing, I might spill the beans in no time. :D

I find it neat that if I put it in a pattern, I've gone to three B places the past four weeks. ;)

Baguio

I suddenly felt sick on the first day. :( I felt sorry for myself and to my friend who accompanied me going there ~ which I think I had not been a 100% enjoyable companion that time. Sorry, Friend. Nevertheless, the next two days were business as expected and went very well. It was there God reminded me of his purposes through the people I had been reunited with and new people I had met who share the same passion on our profession. This deserves a separate post which will serve as a sequel to my post, Something on a Midday.

Bicol

Same thing, business thing took me to the land of this perfect cone, Mount Mayon. Oh, such beauty ~ too good to be true. I won't get tired of looking to this majestic volcano.

What made my business travel here extra memorable was my experience of being caught up in a situation I wasn't orientated about. Goodness! It was about this dynamic trio who... Ooops. Not this time. *wink*

Batangas

And there came the last leg, Tagaytay, Batangas. The culmination of my business travel was our prayer retreat. A refreshing finish to my looong hours of land travels. But, of course, something transpired here that was somewhat a continuation of my Bicol experience. Contrary to my expectation, that Bicol thing has not left me yet. Not just yet. #PrayPaMore if I may say. :D

Other than my travels, I savored those greens as far as my peripheral vision can reach. I had filled my eyes with nature's beauty. You may now at least understand why I love the color green. With God allowing me to see those green beauties, I can say, the Lord truly loves me. :)

Oh, I wonder, where would my next travel be?

7-Day Scripture Challenge

This 7-day scripture challenge was originally posted on my Facebook timeline which, I thought is not a bad thing (at all) to carry over in my blog. If in any case I want to revisit, it will all be confined in a single post. 

What made it personal was that instead of just uploading a 'scripture ready' image from Google or Pinterest, I had written it myself. A tiny twist, little effort, written with much love.

Rule: When challenged by a Facebook friend, post a scripture for the next 7 days and tag 2 friends and see if they can keep the chain going. 

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Day 1
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ~ 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)

Day 2
"... God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?..." ~ Numbers 23:19 (NIV)

Day 3
Where then does wisdom come from? Where does understanding dwell? . . . And he said to the human race, “The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.” ~ Job 28:20,28 (NIV)

Day 4

... But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)

Day 5
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. ~ Isaiah 40:28-29 (NIV)

Day 6
The LORD is compassionate & gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.


~ Psalm 103:8-12 (NIV)

Day 7
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.


~ Isaiah 55:10-11 (NIV)

Honestly, I enjoyed that week-long challenge. More than writing and posting it on my page, it served as a way of creatively meditating and bringing to remembrance bible verses each and everyday.

Want to give it a try? :)

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Just a side history, if you're a bit familiar to some of the images, it had appeared on one of my previous posts, What's on my Mind? and the story was brought about by Something that Joined the Green Side. ;)